There are a lot of things about government that don’t quite make sense.

That’s why most rational people just ignore it.

Trying to figure out the moves and motivations of the Volusia County Council is like buying a factory reject jigsaw puzzle – you’re just setting yourself up for frustration.

I’ve often equated Volusia to a Shadow Government, where nothing is truly as it seems.

A dark, mysterious place where power was taken from the people long ago and consolidated in the hands of a supreme being – the county manager.

For instance, the Office of Sheriff – a person We, The People elect every four-years to serve as our county’s chief law enforcement officer.  A constitutionally established office with the power to enforce state law and county ordinances, who acts as the Executive Officer of the court system, serving process and enforcing orders.

At least that’s what most people think they voted for.

Although the constitution requires that each county elect a sheriff, it also allows counties with a home rule charter approved by the electorate to eliminate, transfer, or substantially alter the duties of the office.

When the Volusia County charter was established by special law in 1970, the Office of Sheriff was abolished – along with the other traditional constitutional offices of tax collector, property appraiser, supervisor of elections and clerk of the circuit court – and their power and duties were transferred to new charter offices.

The duties of sheriff were transferred to, and divided between, the department of public safety and the department of corrections.

Our duly elected sheriff is essentially a de facto elected department head – technically classified as the Director of the Department of Public Safety under the direct control of the County Manager.

The State of Florida is considering legislation which would allow voters to return constitutional sovereignty and traditional authority to the Office of Sheriff in charter counties.

Guess what?

Our county manager, Little Jimmy Dinneen, wants no part of it – and he’s willing to lie to you, me and our elected officials – and spend our hard-earned tax dollars – to retain his Napoleonic power over his Kingdom in Deland.

That shouldn’t come as a surprise.

Earlier this month, during a meeting of the Volusia County Council, Jim Dinneen and his bootlicking toady, county attorney Dan Eckert – in an open display of premeditated treachery – orchestrated a vote to allow Dinneen and his staff to work with the county’s highly-paid lobbying firm to exclude Volusia County from the pending legislation on the dubious grounds of protecting home rule and “the right of the people to vote.”

That’s rich.

Considering Mr. Eckert spent most of last year suing his constituents with their own tax dollars specifically to prevent their right to vote.

Interestingly, the backroom work to exclude Volusia County from the sheriff’s legislation began in Tallahassee a week before the County Council even considered it.

Our elected officials acted without consulting – or even notifying – Sheriff Chitwood, soliciting his input, or announcing their intentions on the public agenda.

Still think your county council wants or needs your involvement in your government?

So much for those haughty campaign promises, huh?

Without undertaking any independent review of the proposed legislation – Ed Kelley, that doddering fool we elected to the important role of Chairman – and the other stuffed suits on the dais – voted unanimously to support Dinneen’s Machiavellian horseshit.

Unfortunately, we would later learn that this wasn’t the only bald-assed sleight-of-hand perpetrated by the County Manager during that fateful meeting.

This was the same session during which Jim Dinneen purposefully concealed vital information regarding the nearly $1-million-dollar purchase of a parcel of land fronting Main Street in the City of Daytona Beach from our elected officials.

In turn, our county council – the very people we elected to represent our interests – once again voted blindly, like the good little rubber stamps they are – before being excruciatingly exposed as pitiful victims of their own astonishing lack of preparation, political intuition or basic intelligence.

Last Friday, Sheriff Mike Chitwood did what those bought-and-paid-for cowards on the council dais couldn’t when he publicly called for Jim Dinneen to be fired.

In an incredibly pointed interview on local talk radio, Chitwood described Mr. Dinneen as a “disingenuous human being,” a “megalomaniac” and courageously warned us that it is time to give the county manager and county attorney’s offices an “enema.”

According to reporter Dustin Wyatt’s excellent overview in Sunday’s Daytona Beach News-Journal, Chitwood noted, “He (Dinneen) lies and misleads the council,” referencing the land deal situation: “How do you know he’s lying? His lips are moving.”

Truer words were never spoken.

The response from several members of the council was predictable – and exemplified how quickly the power brokers can circle-the-wagons when their cash cow is threatened.

Take Councilman “Sleepy” Pat Patterson’s mean-spirited admonition to a fellow elected official:

“If he’s unhappy with the way things are going,” Patterson said of Chitwood, “maybe he should resign.”

Asked why he didn’t so much as talk to Sheriff Chitwood before the recent council discussion, Patterson said: “It’s not all about Chitwood.

Apparently, it’s not about you and me either – you know, the people who overwhelmingly voted Mike Chitwood into office?

In my view, this building blood feud best exemplifies the depth to which our county government has been compromised by big money special interests who now control every aspect of the current administration.

Sheriff Chitwood is right – as our duly elected sheriff his constitutionally created office should be free of the bondage and dictatorship of a screw-job appointed official who is wholly controlled and protected by the shadow figures who manipulate government through massive campaign contributions and outsized personal influence.

Our home rule charter has many important benefits – but make no mistake, it is tailor made to permit powerful external forces to sway the system.

Why do you think the same faces appear on the Charter Review Commission time, and time, and time again?

Somewhere along the line, Jim Dinneen forgot the one irrefutable fact of public service:  His power to administrate our county government is derived from the will and trust of the people – not a select few uber-wealthy puppet masters with a profit motive.

Perhaps more disturbing is the fact that Sheriff Chitwood – a man of proven integrity with the first set of fresh eyes we’ve had in years – is sounding the Klaxon on Little Jimmy’s micromanagement, strategic deception and unadulterated dishonesty – while our elected officials ignore the dire warnings and publicly chastise the messenger.

Tragic.

It’s how things are done in the Kingdom of the Strawman – a place where an appointed manager with no political accountability can publicly humiliate the people’s elected officials, openly obfuscate the facts, and completely alienate the democratic concept of public input and fair debate.

In my view, a partial repeal of the county charter to exempt the high office of sheriff from the tyrannical control of a foul ball like Jim Dinneen is both warranted and necessary.

And, despite the bleating and quibbling of our horribly compromised County Attorney, it is infinitely possible.

In the meantime, our elected officials can take the first important step to restore public trust by terminating Mr. Dinneen’s reign of abject incompetence and deceit.

We’ve had enough.

Only when this Little Caesar with a God complex has been removed from power can we begin the difficult process of rebuilding reputational confidence in those we have elected to represent our interests – and bring back fundamental trust in our terribly wounded system of governance.

 

 

 

 

What do you call the federal indictment of a former State Representative on charges of wire fraud related to campaign finance violations?

A good start.

It’s also a tragically sad ending for an important local role model.

On Thursday, former State Representative – and Daytona Beach City Commissioner – Dwayne Taylor, was indicted on nine counts of wire fraud by federal prosecutors in Florida’s Middle District following allegations that he claimed thousands of dollars in campaign expenditures to conceal ATM withdrawals and checks written to himself in violation of state campaign law – and United States Code.

If convicted, Taylor faces a maximum penalty of 20-years in federal prison on each count.

Per the grand jury indictment, in an abominably dumb move, Taylor saw fit to appoint himself as his own campaign treasurer – a dubious practice permitted by current campaign finance law – during his 2012 and 2014 runs.

Apparently, he made the illegal withdrawals, totaling approximately $2,800, in nine transactions between June 2012 and August 2016.

Federal prosecutors claim that Taylor fraudulently reported the embezzled funds as petty cash.

In addition, the indictment seeks a monetary judgement of some $62,834 in campaign funds, “representing the amount of proceeds obtained as a result of the offense charged in Counts one through nine.”

Clearly, this would exceed the $100 per week permitted for office supplies, transportation, and other petty essentials directly related to a candidate’s campaign activities.

In 2008, voters elected Taylor as a member of the Florida House of Representatives, initially representing the 27^th District.  In 2012, following redistricting, he was reelected to the Florida House representing the 26^th District.

Then, in 2015, Mr. Taylor announced his intention to run for the Volusia County Chair before changing tack and launching a campaign for Florida’s Sixth Congressional District in the United States House of Representatives – the post now held by Rep. Ron DeSantis.

A cursory check of Mr. Taylor’s campaign contribution reports finds all the right local players represented.  Typical of Volusia County politics, each of our uber-wealthy High Panjandrums of Political Power contributed to Taylor’s various campaigns – if just to hedge their bets.

Was Dwayne Taylor a stand-out politician?  Hardly.

But he was a true Daytona Beach success story – and that is a rarity – something that comes around about as often as the Comet Kohouteck.

Taylor grew up in humble beginnings in the tough Daytona Village Section 8 project, which, prior to a recent renovation, was a deteriorating collection of dreadfully challenged block apartments in the crime infested area between Keech Street and Mary McLeod Bethune Boulevard.

He was living proof to thousands of kids that anything is possible.

Dwayne Taylor embodied the promise that with hard work, and a dedication to education, you can go from the bottom of Daytona Beach to the halls of power in Tallahassee and beyond.

In 1996, I had the distinct honor of graduating from the Federal Bureau of Investigations National Academy at Quantico, Virginia.  Alumni of that distinguished program have adopted a quote by President John F. Kennedy which guides our professional ethics – and our personal commitment to the highest ideals of public service:

“For those to whom much is given, much is required.”

Our elected and appointed officials could learn something from that valuable aphorism.

For over thirty years I made my living in local government service.

From the earliest days, my superiors drilled into me the importance of preserving the public trust – the foundation upon which government derives its moral authority and legitimacy.

Now retired Chief John P. Finn told me the day I was hired, “I won’t abide a thief or a liar – and of the two – I’d rather have the thief.” 

He demanded complete honesty from the law enforcement officers under his command – in all aspects of our service, on-duty and off – and it was doom for anyone who quibbled the facts, bore false witness or spoke an untruth.

After don’t touch a hot stove, it was the best life-lesson I ever had.

Truth, or consequences.

Perhaps it was my chief’s strong commitment to professional integrity – or my parents early influence – but whenever I faced an ethical dilemma during my career, I got a weird feeling in my core alerting me that the choice I faced was illegal, immoral or unethical.

It never failed.

I might have ignored it on occasion – after all, whisky and bad decisions will be my epitaph – but that sensation of right-and-wrong has never let me down.

I think we all have that internal alarm – call it a conscience, or an ethical sixth sense – but unless you’re a depraved psychopath it’s what keeps most of us on the straight and narrow path of righteousness.

Unfortunately, there are a few elected and appointed to high office who believe the rules no longer apply.

Locally, you need look no further than the Debacle in DeBary to see the damage a mob mentality, fueled by unbridled hubris and revenge politics, can have on a community – or the ethically questionable Volusia County money-shuffle, cloaked as ‘economic development’ incentives, which always seem to benefit top tier campaign donors, or interests and industries close to them.

It’s no better at the federal level where politics has literally become a blood sport.

Perhaps our local officials can learn something from Mr. Taylor’s tragic example.

But I doubt it.

In my view, the time has come for local governments throughout Volusia County to take a long hard look at themselves, and this bastardized system of insider politics that continues to spiral out-of-control.

Look, I’m not talking about an elected official who goes back on a campaign promise – or changes political allegiances in mid-stream – those stories are as old as time.

I am talking about the behind-the-scenes machinations and murky ‘wink-wink’ deals that divert public funds, property and resources to private interests.

Time-and-time-and-time again.

Something tells me that Mr. Taylor isn’t the only local politician who will have trouble sleeping tonight.

The prospect of a cumulative 180-years in federal prison will have that effect.

Unfortunately, the anecdotal evidence strongly suggests that he isn’t the first – or the last – area politician or appointed official who has crossed the line.

I hope the U.S. Attorney’s Office focuses its powerful resources on the ‘Fun Coast’ and restores the public’s trust in our system of governance.

It is time for a reckoning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’d like to welcome those of you joining our little program in progress. . .

It’s been quite a week for Barker’s View.

In the past few days, folks have visited the site in droves, thousands of new visitors have come from near and far to read these world-weary views on Volusia County politics.

That’s probably a bad thing for those of us who live, work and play here on the Fun Coast.

Look, I rarely write about all the ‘feel-good’ fun stuff happening in Volusia County.

I’m not an optimist.  I’m a brooding asshole.

It’s just how God made me.  And I am convinced he put me here, in this strange time and place, for a reason.

You want the canned ‘happy-happy!’ from some corporate marketing department touting the benefits of a brand-immersive old folk’s home with a cool “Caribbean Soul” vibe – or piffle on the incredible “synergy” created by a tax-supported, cookie-cutter sporting goods store – you’re in the wrong corner of the interwebz.

If you are reading Barker’s View, that means the wheel as come off the cart at some level of government – and you know that I’ll be sitting here in my boxer shorts, hunched over the keyboard, stirring the pot, goring sacred oxen and kicking the politicos while their down.

Someone’s got to do it.

Besides, my hypocrisy knows no bounds – and I’ve got the time.

It’s a goofy opinion blog.  Don’t like it?  Don’t read it.

I think most regular readers of this forum are smart enough to figure out that if you want an erudite, scholarly examination of the local issues by professional journalists and political analysts, you read the Daytona Beach News-Journal, Orlando Sentinel, or any of the mainstream media serving the Central Florida market.

Regardless of the outlet, it tends to all be riffs on the same theme.  A delicate tightrope act over the dangerous chasm between the truth and the almighty advertising dollar.

But, if you have a hankering for an alternative point-of-view – a itch for the rambling thoughts of a bearded weirdo who watches the mind-numbing machinations of government, filters the intrigues through a gin-soaked mind, and puts his twisted opinions down with a heavy-measure of hyperbole, sarcasm, and cynical embroidery – I’m your guy.

Pull up a chair, pour yourself three-fingers of good bourbon (it’s in the cabinet, above the bar), light-up a Marlboro and make yourself at home.

Consider this your “safe space.”

A profane, often irreverent salon where we can sit together and take an unvarnished look at the inner-workings of local government with a jaundiced eye – and perhaps expose the whores, pimps, book-lickers, fixers and rich political insiders that grease the wheels and work the system to their advantage in the boardrooms, council chambers and back alleys of Volusia County.

What brought all our new readers to the site?

Well, earlier this week we learned that Volusia County Manager Jim Dinneen, a sneaky bastard with a penchant for making sure our hard-earned tax dollars make it into the right people’s hands – pulled a fast one on our elected officials.

While you and I – and, it appears, the bulk of the Volusia County Council – were being lulled into a catatonic state by the incessant hype of what passes for ‘progress’ in the Halifax area – Little Jimmy was working up a nearly $1-million-dollar purchase of some paved-over land fronting Main Street in the heart of Daytona Beach’s “Entertainment Zone” redevelopment area.

To make a very strange story short, it appears Mr. Dinneen strategically failed to let the City of Daytona Beach in his plan – or tell his bosses on the county council the full truth – including the fact that municipal zoning regulations prohibit a parking lot on the land, which is exactly the excuse Dinneen used to ramrod the purchase in the first place.

In the aftermath, our elected officials, especially our new Chairman Ed Kelley, and Councilwoman Billie Wheeler, both former city officials who ran on platforms touting their ability to mend fences with Volusia County’s 16 municipalities – constituencies that have been kicked around like a cur dog by Dinneen and his staff – were left looking for all the world like a gaggle of out-of-touch dupes.

Because they are.

Look, I’m not smart enough to figure out the A-B-C’s of this highly suspicious land deal – partly because guys like Jim Dinneen make sure you never quite connect A to C.  He’s bright enough to know that exposing the identities of the shadow players isn’t good for his long-term viability as a first-class fixer.

And make no mistake, Little Jimmy stands firmly at the nexus of public funds and private interests – a cheap bagman with the situational ethics of a broke-back snake who loathes everything you and I hold dear.

In my view, Jim Dinneen is like the kid in school who gets good grades but nobody ever sees him study.  A guy with no particular skills – other than a weird knack for getting elected officials to follow him down mysterious paths – and the impudence to collect his stratospheric salary and benefits package with a straight face.

In most public or private organizations, you only embarrass your bosses on the front page of the local newspaper once – then, your sorry ass is taken to the woodshed where you receive the Bastinado treatment by your humiliated victims before being tossed into the street to face your deepest fears, and enemies, alone.

But not in Volusia County.

This is like a Shadow Government where nothing is as it seems.

Except, our eyes are beginning to adjust to the darkness.

Little Jimmy is smart enough to know the importance of protecting his interests, and those of his handlers, from the petty whims and quirks of the elected officials – those scarecrows in cheap suits who sit on the dais and fritter away under the almost quaint notion that they are in control of something important.

Self-important dimwits, too stupid to understand that they don’t know what they don’t know – while Jim Dinneen consolidates power through the careful control of information.

When things go sideways – like they most certainly did last week – Mr. Dinneen cloaks himself in the political muscle of the real power brokers.  The uber-wealthy insiders who directly benefit from the dangerous combination of Dinneen’s preternatural lack of professional integrity and his direct access to the public checkbook.

That’s Little Jimmy’s “safe space.”

Any elected official in Volusia County worth his or her salt knows that you cross the wrong people in this town at your own risk.

After all, they didn’t shovel hundreds of thousands of dollars into a local election without knowing the exact return on investment – and Jimmy is their little man behind the curtain who keeps the money flowing.

So, don’t expect Ed Kelley – or any of the others we elected to represent our interests – to hold Mr. Dinneen accountable for his sins in this dubious land deal – or anything else.

Our once proud politicians are scared shitless.  And they should be.

They know which side their political bread is buttered on – and so does Jim Dinneen.

 

Photo Credit:  The West Volusia Beacon

You know, I often say that I look like an elephant and I have a memory like one.

Well, I specifically remember that the cornerstone of Council Chairman Ed Kelley’s campaign platform was a recurring pledge to restore the county’s fractured and festering relationships with the cities.

In fact, ol’ Ed sounded like a broken record – incessantly touting his 15-years of municipal service as the reason he was the best man to mend fences and salve over years of abuse and hard feelings.

During the long, hot summer that was the 2016 campaign season, Chairman Kelley was asked by the Daytona Beach News-Journal to describe the “biggest issue facing the county and what you will do to solve it?”

Ed’s response: “We must work to mend the real disconnect between the county and our cities. Without that, the majority of our citizens and businesses can’t move forward. I will be able to provide the necessary leadership to accomplish this and will make sure all of our concerns and ideas are heard.”

Bullshit.

Now, the evidence suggests Ed was so full of hot air he could have levitated – just another cheap bait-and-switch artist telling us all what we wanted to hear.

Interestingly, in his rambling mea culpa after telling weary constituents that the tony Tanger Outlets needs more luxury car parking spaces – not public transportation, the Right Reverend Fred Lowry told us, “I campaigned on trying to bring the east side and west side together.”  

Really?

Perhaps worse, while running for office, freshman Councilwoman Billie Wheeler droned on, ad nauseum, touting her ability to “build relationships” with Volusia County’s 16 municipalities through her experience as past president of that do-nothing fraternity known as the Volusia League of Cities.

Yet, We, The People, bought into these ugly lies – hook, line and sinker.

Now, the truth has been exposed – and it’s business as usual when it comes to Volusia County government taking the cities lunch money.

In an outstanding piece by News-Journal reporter Dustin Wyatt entitled, “Daytona questions Volusia’s Main Street land deal,” this morning we learned some rather chilling facts about how the more things change in Deland – the more they stay the same.

Last week, the Volusia County Council voted 6-1 to spend nearly $1-million dollars of our hard-earned tax money to purchase a parcel near Main Street in Daytona Beach, ostensibly for extra parking lots for the Ocean Center and Main Street special events – something Dinneen yammered would generate some $50,000 in annual revenue.

Little Jimmy explained with a straight face that the incredibly expensive land deal was more of an “opportunity” than a “need” (after pulling his twisted Edgar Bergen routine and talking out of his ass to explain how we are pitifully broke when it comes to funding public transportation needs.)

Strange.

Regardless, the majority of the council – with Deb Deny’s as the lone nay – gobbled-up Little Jimmy’s blatant disregard for the truth like the good little drones they are and voted to buy the land for well above the average of two private appraisals (expensive market studies which you and I paid for – and they ignored).

The whole deal was weird from the start.

There was no pressing need – or even desire – to purchase the vacant lot, certainly not at the exorbitant price of $970,000.  It just kind of popped up and – Wham, Bam – we were pissing cash money.

(What happened to the “No more Spending – Go to Zero” plan we were all led to believe would be the panacea for reducing taxes and staunching the arterial bleed of public funds?) 

Why in the world would we want a stagnant parking lot fronting the potentially prime real estate of Main Street once the area is brought back from the dead?

Now, we know the rest of the story.

It appears in the hasty run-up to the purchase, Volusia County conveniently neglected one thing – the courtesy of letting the City of Daytona Beach in on their plan.

Although you wouldn’t know it, it appears Daytona Beach actually had a plan for putting a hotel – or some other tax-generating commerce – on the site as part of the long-neglected orphan known as the “Entertainment Zone (E-Zone) planning tool.”

According to the News-Journal, Daytona Beach City Manager Jim Chisholm was unaware of the county’s plan until the very morning of the council’s vote to approve the land purchase.

Yep.  (Whatever.)

To hear Chisholm tell it, Little Jimmy didn’t let the cat out of the bag until the very last minute.

Although Mr. Chisholm didn’t see a problem with the plan at first blush – he apparently had a cup of coffee, came to his senses, and called Dinneen back around 10:00am that morning to report that parking lots aren’t allowed on the Main Street frontage.

Say wha?

You mean, our elected officials just voted to spend nearly $1-million for a frigging parking lot, only to find out you can’t put a parking lot there?

Unfortunately, by the time Chisholm got his shit together and called Little Jimmy back – the deal was done.

Or was it?

In his own inimitable way, Dinneen reported, “There was no reason to think there was an issue.  It’s only after we did that that (Chisholm) has come forward.  He later added, “There’s no obligation to call (Chisholm) at all.”

But even after learning that Daytona Beach was rightly questioning the county’s plan, Dinneen didn’t say peep to the County Council – just sat on his ass while our elected officials took a vote that would ultimately make them look like the detached, out-of-the-loop jackasses they truly are.

Seems Jimmy was waiting for “more information.”  No big deal.

My ass.

Now, it appears the only one who doesn’t have a problem with Jim Dinneen’s failure to communicate is Sleepy Pat Patterson, who remarked in his most mean-spirited way, “It makes you wonder what’s going on in the background with the city.” He huffed.  “They should have come to us.”

What abject arrogance.

Sounds like the burglar blaming the victim.

No, Sleepy, you really should have reached out to them.

In his best attempt to recover from the fact he was caught flat-footed, Chairman Kelley “Ah, Shucked” his way through Dinneen’s surprise party with a confidence inspiring, “I assumed the county would have done its due diligence and talked to the city.”

 Really?  You assumed? 

 So much for the whole “leadership-thing” we were promised.

Thanks for nothing.

And Billie Wheeler claims she was “led to believe” that the city was on-board.

Wake up, Billie.  This isn’t some goofy League of Cities coffee klatch.  Not everyone in county government is your friend – or has the best interests of your constituents at heart.

That’s what we pay you for, remember?

As far as I’m concerned, Ed, Fred and Billie can stick their empty campaign promises to rebuild relationships where the sun don’t shine.  We’ve heard it all before.

These aren’t leaders – they’re clueless chumps.  Hapless rubes of Jim Dinneen and his pack of entrenched insiders.

With all due respect – pull your collective heads out of your ass.

I still haven’t figured out which “friend” is standing in the shadows of this colossally expensive deal with Friend’s Bank of New Smyrna Beach – but you can bet your ass it’s someone we’re familiar with.

In my experience, nothing happens by accident when $1 million dollars is on the table.

Look, Ed Kelley, Fred Lowry, and Billie Wheeler – and the others –  know full-well that this isn’t the first time the county has faced withering criticism for buying-up prime real estate and taking it off the tax rolls of struggling municipalities, just because they can.

When does this bumbling Circus of the Absurd end?

Now, our elected officials – the people in which we have placed our sacred trust – have been left hanging, painfully exposed like a troop of jabbering, out-of-touch fools by the calculated maneuvers of the County Manager and his staff of co-conspirators.

If the County Council doesn’t fire Jim Dinneen now, they can never use the “We had our thumb in our ass and didn’t know any better” excuse again.

My God.  Is this the best we can do?

 

 

Just when you think things on Volusia County beaches can’t get worse. . .

Enter a few self-absorbed residents of the Condo Canyons of Daytona Beach Shores – the Halifax areas own “Heaven’s Waiting Room” – where even folks who sleep and rise in beachfront luxury can find something to bitch about.

I’ve lived in the Halifax area for over 50-years now, and some of my fondest memories are of going to the beach with my grandfather and a day-old loaf of bread.

We would toss small pieces to seagulls and little shorebirds, then laugh and marvel at their aerobatics as they dodged and darted, snatching the crumbs in flight.  I always tried to give my allotment to the timid ones who waited patently out of the fray – only to have some aggressive bastard swoop in and grab it from him.

It was fun.

If you’ve never taken a child to the beach and fed the seagulls, I suggest you do it soon.

While you still can.

As a friend of mine recently pointed out, most bad public policy begins with a “condo owner’s complaint.”

In this case, a few beach-goers who enjoy passing the time feeding birds have found themselves crossways with some condominium owners in Daytona Beach Shores.

According to the condo dwellers, this quaint activity results in the birds swarming their pool deck, perching on railings, wading in the pool – and, like birds are wont to do – shitting anywhere, and on anything, they damn well feel like.  (Kind of like birds do whether someone feeds them or not.)

And the denizens of Condo Valley want it stopped.  Now.

To take their point to the nth, the offended homeowners have enlisted a “national consortium of bird scientists” to help make their case.

According to an article in the Daytona Beach News-Journal, some ninny from something called the American Ornithologist Council, claims that feeding bread scraps to shorebirds is harmful to their health – turning our feathered friends into “junk food addicts” – and depriving them of nutrients, etc.

Look, I’m no Washington-based ornithologist – but do you have any idea the kind of things these birds stuff themselves on at the Volusia County landfill?

Whoa.

Once you’ve seen what they can do to a dirty disposable diaper, you might find that a few Merita Butter Bread heels might be the least of their problems. . .

In typical fashion, our freshman County Councilwoman, Billie Wheeler – a resident of Daytona Beach Shores – has immediately knee-jerked in favor of new signs, laws and regulations.

I mean, if a handful of bored retirees in some high-rise condominium are bothered by birds-being-birds on their veranda – then the only reasonable solution is to ban every man, woman and child who lives or vacations here from bringing a bag of bread and feeding birds on all 47-miles of Volusia County beaches.

Of course, Ms. Wheeler claims she isn’t referring to a child or a family who drop the occasional chip or crumb.  Hell, that would be “unreasonable.”

My condolences to any beach police officer who must sort that one out:

“I saw the Wonder Bread bag, sir.  It was in plain view – don’t make me get a search warrant.”

“That’s not my bread, officer.  Aunt Betty brought it for sandwiches, honest – my kid only dropped a chip, he didn’t know any better.  Actually, the bird was the aggressor.”  

“Was the Taser really necessary – the boy’s six?” 

“Shut your mouth, son.  If I wasn’t in uniform, I’d split your skull with the butt of this revolver quicker than you can say ‘police brutality.’  Today it’s white bread, tomorrow a leftover Cheddar Bay biscuit – the next thing you know these poor gulls are hooked, selling themselves for Cheez-it crackers up by the Ocean Deck.  You sick bird-feeding bastards are all alike.”

I agree with my friend, Paul Zimmerman – a long-time beach advocate who has worked tirelessly in the public interest for reasonable and inclusive beach policies.

“I would say no to any more rules on the beach, I don’t know why they would remove feeding — just one more activity in which some residents and taxpayers find enjoyment.”

He’s right you know.

It’s high time our elected representatives understand that we don’t need a new law or regulation every time someone gets uncomfortable.  And we damn sure don’t need another sign anywhere near the beach.

The strand is so polluted with signage the natural beauty of the shoreline no longer exists.

Signs and sandwich boards announcing the rules are the first thing a beach-goer encounters when he or she pays their $10-bucks at the toll kiosk – and it doesn’t get any better once you’re down on the sand.

Is it possible that, for once, our elected and appointed officials could just keep it simple – perhaps ask the bird feeders to move a few hundred yards – and tell the condo owners to lighten up a bit?

Maybe ask them to focus on the Big Picture problems of condo-living, like the ostentatious decoration on their neighbor’s door – or the grandchildren in B-23 who overstay the deed-restricted visitation limit – or those miscreants who insist on leaving their sandy flip-flops in the hallway?

Hey, Billie – just a suggestion: Not every tempest in a teapot requires the full force and might of government coercion and compulsion.

You’re not debating the findings of the DBS Beautification Review Consortium anymore.

Now, your decisions effect all of us.

Can’t we simply suggest that people use their intellectual and moral faculties to find simple resolutions to isolated issues – like birds shitting on a pool deck – before we tell a kid in Ormond-by-the-Sea that he’s going to jail – or receiving a summons – if he tosses some bread to a bird like his grandparents did?

My God.  What is this place becoming?

What are we becoming?

Last summer, I began a series of essays venting my thoughts on the deepening shit-storm that is the City of DeBary.

After all, if you care about good government in your community – you should care about good governance everywhere.  And the mounting weirdness in DeBary really bothered me.

The genesis was a succession of articles in the Daytona Beach News-Journal penned by the intrepid investigative journalist, Dina Voyles-Pulver – in my view, one of the best and brightest reporters in the business today.

Her work in DeBary is worthy of a Pulitzer.

With the skillful stroke of her pen, Dina exposed a fetid snake pit of public corruption, political treachery, incompetence, and parasitic malfeasance that reached all the way to the helm of one of our state’s most powerful regulatory agencies.

The “Debacle in DeBary” has all the terrible elements of a crisis of leadership – and exemplifies, in microcosm, the depth to which some elected and appointed officials will stoop to serve their own self-interests.

In my view, DeBary’s disgraced former city manager, Dan Parrott – a congenitally crooked douchebag whose ham-fisted brand of revenge politics bought him an on-going criminal investigation by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement and Office of the State Attorney – is ultimately responsible.

But he didn’t orchestrate it all on his own.

Before his departure, Parrott set in motion a cheap coup d’état – backed by his co-conspirators in City Hall – which ultimately resulted in the ouster of the people’s duly-elected Mayor, Clint Johnson.

It was aggression run amok – a pure example of weaponized political power unleashed.

Mayor Johnson’s removal will long be remembered as the most atrocious disregard for our sacred democratic process ever perpetrated by a local elected body.

To add insult, DeBary’s City Attorney, Kurt Ardaman, (who, I believe, truly can wring blood out of a turnip) has, in my view, used the municipality’s coffers as a slop-trough for every cheapjack, money-grubbing lawyer in the region.

When you factor in the collusions of unscrupulous developers, half-bright ‘economic development’ types, screw worm consultants, and just good old timey bald-assed stupidity, you realize that the City of DeBary is being picked clean by every foul carrion vulture in Central Florida.

After Dan Parrott personally orchestrated his own very lucrative exit, the DeBary City Council began looking for a replacement – a manager skilled in recovering horribly dysfunctional municipal governments from an inverted flat spin – and quickly discovered that no one worth a shit wanted anything to do them.

Even the most desperate “manager in transition” wouldn’t touch DeBary with a ten-foot pole.

Smart people know that you can’t pick up a turd by the clean end.  And we should be suspicious of anyone who tries.

Enter Ronald McLemore.

In retrospect, this should have been clear as glass.

You and I both know that slimy opportunists will always find their way to the scene of the crash, if just to ransack the victims for valuables.

During this disorienting whirlwind, Ron McLemore – the former city manager of Winter Springs, with a resume that includes a six-year stint in Daytona Beach and a cup-of-coffee in Cocoa Beach – mysteriously agreed to wade into this sewer, roll-up his sleeves, and attempt to straighten out the perverse mess that is DeBary government.

There was great hope in Wild West Volusia.  Hell, even I got caught up in a feverish swoon of false optimism.

The silver-maned McLemore said all the right things.

Unfortunately, it now appears he may have lied through his teeth – and compromised himself – and what’s left of the city’s integrity – just to land a temp job.

In the run-up to his appointment as interim city manager, the council held a slapdash interview with McLemore during which he doffed his suit coat and played the role of a wisely old sage, with a touch of cornpone thrown in to close the sale.

It was just what they needed to hear.

You see, drowning people will trust just about anything that looks like a life preserver.

Almost as an afterthought, the subject of a sickening sexual harassment complaint that had been filed against McLemore shortly before his “retirement” from the City of Daytona Beach, was casually broached.

With no more concern than picking a piece of lint from his shirtsleeve, McLemore dismissed the matter out of hand – explaining to the City Council that an “investigation was done by an outside legal firm who specializes in this area, they exonerated me and all the other seven.”

Bullshit.

According to the News-Journal, the very law firm that conducted the internal investigation for the City of Daytona Beach confirmed that the allegations against McLemore were never a part of their inquiry, as he resigned prior to the initiation of the independent review.

A spokesperson for the City of Daytona Beach also confirmed that McLemore was not part of the city’s investigation.

Wow.

It now appears the allegations of sexual harassment and discrimination leveled against Mr. McLemore were never investigated – nor was he exonerated – as he very clearly told the City Council and assembled citizens.

What struck me hard was McLemore’s response to allegations that while employed as a senior executive with the City of Daytona Beach, he ordered a subordinate to perform hours of personal work on his behalf – totally unrelated to official business – while the employee was on-duty and the recipient of public funds.

His excuse, “In return for the hundreds of hours I worked nights and weekends over my six years with the city, due to being understaffed, to keep projects of huge importance to the city moving forward, I think the city could afford me a minuscule number of hours to get things done I didn’t have time to do at home as opposed to taking time off from the job to get them done.”

“When millions of dollars of investment and the well-being of thousands of people are involved, which do you prefer: performance or bureaucracy?”

So, are we to believe the allegations that he used public employees for private work are true, but excusable, due to his uber-important role – but the more sinister sexual pestering and favoritism claims are not?

My ass.

What arrogance.  What unbridled hubris.

You ego-maniacal, chiseling asshole.  Nobody owes you a damn thing.

How dare you – as a highly-paid, trusted government administrator – demean the contributions of the incredibly dedicated public servants who work long hours under difficult and dangerous circumstances – often at great personal sacrifice – without once asking anyone to “afford” them anything!

Shame on you.

Look, you want to get a haircut or run to the drug store, as a salaried employee, that’s between you and the City Manager.  In over three-decades of public service, I would be lying if I told you I never screwed-off at work, bullshitted around the water cooler, or ran a personal errand on-duty.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

But when you misuse your position of power and order subordinate public employees to violate the very rules designed to protect the public from the diversion of public resources for personal convenience or gain – in my view, you have crossed a very clear ethical line.

I believe the time has come for Ronald McLemore to resign his position of trust with the City of DeBary.

In fact, the DeBary city council should take this opportunity to conduct an exorcism at City Hall – purging every foul bird who still has the putrid taint of Dan Parrott – or the Gemini Springs Annex fraud – about them.

It is time.

As for Ron McLemore, for once demonstrate leadership (look it up in your City Manager handbook) and accept responsibility.

You have made a bad situation worse, and, in my opinion, you have lost the moral authority to lead.

The good people of DeBary deserve better.

 

 

Anyone who still believes Volusia County residents aren’t overtaxed and underrepresented need look no further than the County Council’s recent two-faced insult to the Great Lords of Karma.

Trust me.  It’s not good to piss those guys off – the All Seeing Eye, Goddess of Liberty, Justice and Opportunity, Mercy and Compassion, Truth and Wisdom, and the Lord of Peace and Devotion.

According to ancient teaching, “These Cosmic Beings, for eons, have evolved to the point wherein they are perfectly suited and fitted, by their consciousness, to be arbiters of karmic situations, and how these situations shall out-picture in the physical world.”

 Heavy Ju-Ju, baby.

The Karmic Board will turn your sorry ass into a fence post for your sins against the weak and vulnerable – just because they can.  I’ve seen them do it on foggy, moonless nights in places like backatown New Orleans, The Battery in Charleston, and in the moss-strewn alleyways of Cassadaga.

For some reason, the Divine Director has always looked on me with great favor – and protected me from all harm.  He knows that while I am a terribly flawed character – I am pure in spirit – and thirsty for the truth.

How we treat others is how we shall be treated, and I fear some will not be so fortunate when the cosmic beings start tallying the score. . .

Being reincarnated as a filthy ditch pig – or a three-legged sewer rat – is almost too much for some to comprehend.

During yesterday’s transportation workshop, county manager Jim Dinneen and what passes for our elected representatives, proclaimed that there will be no Votran bus service to the new Tanger Outlet in the foreseeable future.

However, they benevolently agreed to expand service to the Walmart on SR-44 in New Smyrna, and to areas along Howland Boulevard in Deltona.

Simply a matter of money, we’re told.

In January, the Daytona Beach News-Journal issued a spot-on editorial pointing out Volusia County’s failure to anticipate public transportation needs in the run-up to the Tanger development – and their inability to adjust routes and services when the oversight was discovered.

I guess it wasn’t an omission at all.

According to the Reverend Fred Lowey, what Tanger needs is more luxury parking spots – not transportation for the Great Unwashed. “I’ve been at Tanger before,” Fred said. “They need to have more BMW parking (instead of) bus service. This is not KMart or Walmart shoppers.”

 Hell no!  This ain’t no squalid five-and-dime!

This is the NEW DAYTONA, and Tanger is for people of high-breeding, culture and wealth – 55-and-over Parrot Heads with unlimited disposable income and a yen for a brand-immersive lifestyle – not two-bit strap hangers who want to disrupt the “Tanger experience” by busing out and putting their greasy little hands on the windows and ogling all the shiny things inside.

Screw those ham-n-eggers.  We piss on the poor – those grimy little cheap bastards in their off-the-rack Walmart trash.  They are not Tanger material.  Right, Fred?

Right.

You see, the problem – as Councilwoman Joyce Cusack pointed out in a moment of lucidity – We, The People, didn’t help build the Walmart, or anything on Howland Boulevard for that matter.

What we did is pump $2.2-million of our hard-earned tax dollars into the Tanger project with the promise of “Jobs.”

Remember that, Freddy?

Now, employees and applicants without personal transportation can’t access those jobs.

I believe it’s called bait-and-switch.  We created the jobs – but you must really want them if you don’t own a car.

Per our newest council member, Heather Post, “We haven’t had any outpouring of requests from people who want the service.”  “At some point, will we need transportation out there? I would assume yes, but right now when we are looking at reevaluating the system and we are looking at our super needs, I don’t see (Tanger) as being at the top of the list.”

 You mean, other than the News-Journal editorials, anger and frustration from employees of Tanger businesses, repeat letters to the editor, etc., etc.?

Your right, Heather.  Nobody came up and kissed the collective ass of the Great and Powerful in Deland and begged for public transportation to an outlet mall hawking overpriced seconds on the I-95 frontage road.

Our bad.

We simply expected it as a common-sense amenity for those seeking the employment opportunities the previous county council promised us would come.

For $2.2 million dollars in infrastructure support.

So, the next time you guys decide to throw millions of dollars of our money away on economic incentives cloaked in the bullshit façade of “jobs creation” – don’t be surprised if your constituents have something to say about it.

 In addition, Little Jimmy and the council approved the $970,000 purchase of property near the Ocean Center (where?  It’s that big shuttered building over on Atlantic Avenue where your kids graduated?  You know, home to the Reptile Breeders banquet and something called “Truck Fever 2017”?  Never heard of it?  I attended a Jimmy Buffett show there once – in the mid-80’s as I recall. . .).

To quote Heather Post, was the land purchase a “super need?”

No.  Not really.

According to Little Jimmy, “It’s more of an opportunity than a need.”

(Which, by the by, is the same shtick I’m going to use the next time the half-cent transportation sales tax is discussed by our nouveau riche Clampett clan in Deland.) 

Where I come from they don’t call that an opportunity – they call it speculating with someone else’s money.

It seems the County Council did what the Daytona Beach City Commission couldn’t – they grossly overpaid for a vacant lot near Main Street.

But why?

According to our own Councilwoman Billie Wheeler: “One of the reasons this is a good idea – it gives us control over what’s going on there.  It could be bought up by someone else and not be advantageous to the city or county.  Parking is always an issue in that area.”

She’s right.  After all, what is a government entity without control?

That property could well have been purchased by some business interest – or an entity that, I dunno, might have wanted to develop some form of commerce or industry while keeping the parcel on the tax rolls.

We wouldn’t want that now, would we?

Apparently, the county is now venturing into a property management gig as well by renting out these massively expensive public parcels during special events – something Little Jimmy told the council will produce as much as $50,000 in annual income.

Mr. Dinneen then provided the elected members with nap mats, cookies, and warm milk; before telling the story of three little pigs who developed residential projects using differing building materials, and a giant who lived at the top of a beanstalk with a goose that laid golden eggs at the first of every fiscal year.

When did it become Volusia County government’s job to set the real estate market in and around the perennially neglected Main Street area using our tax dollars?

Am I missing something?

I suggest to anyone who owns property on the beachside to just hold on – eventually the city or the county will come along and pay you twice what it’s worth.

You know, so folks don’t have to park “up the street and around the corner” when they pack in for the next quilting bee at the Ocean Center.

 

One of life’s great accomplishments is the ability to look back on a career of service – public or private – and know that you did your best, tried hard, and made a positive contribution to your industry or community.

It is the very essence of personal satisfaction and self-actualization.

One of the great privileges in my life was the honor of serving others while working with some of the most wonderful people in the world.

Now, I would be lying if I said each of my 31-years in government service was smooth sailing.

Like every career, periodically dark clouds form, honest mistakes are made, or situations conspire to make for tough times.  Sorting through these humps and bumps makes you stronger, and the sense of pride that comes from working together to find creative solutions and overcome difficulties is the best team builder I know.

During my working years, I was extremely fortunate to have some wonderful mentors enter my path who inspired me to great things – people who taught by example – and created a positive and supportive environment.

They were also very forgiving of my stupid mistakes – the best, but most expensive, form of experiential learning there is.

I have also had the displeasure of working for some of the most worthless human scum ever to insinuate themselves into the civil service.  Tyrants and confidence artists who lowered the ethical bar just by their very presence – liars, cheats and duplicitous assholes – who caused more damage and abject destruction than an iron wrecking ball.

For some reason, government service tends to attract certain types of people.

There are the overwhelming majority who dedicate themselves to a cause greater than their own self-interest and work hard to serve their constituents with fairness and compassion.

Unfortunately, there are also bureaucratic sycophants and incompetent shit-heels – flim-flam masters with a good line of bullshit – and treacherous turds who burrow into a public organization like a parasitic tick and protect their position with political favors and mercurial situational ethics.

When administrators are successful in ferreting out corrupt oddballs or malcontents with a destructive agenda – these miscreants often simply pick up and move along to another lucrative position with yet another government entity – as if nothing ever happened.

This is especially true with city and county managers – who seem to have more professional lives than a degenerate ally cat.

I have followed the disturbing allegations of gender and race-based discrimination and retaliation by the City of Daytona Beach.

Given my experience, I understand the maneuvers and mentalities at play – and in my view, City Manager Jim Chisholm has some serious problems at City Hall.

Is there an institutionalized culture of sexual harassment and racial discrimination in certain municipal departments?

I don’t know, but there are rumblings that more victims may be coming forward soon.

If half of what has been reported in the press is accurate, it is past time for a fundamental change in the organization’s leadership and values.

For instance, in 2014, Sonja Wiles – a 23-year career public servant with an exemplary record – filed credible charges of sexual harassment against former City Architect James Hanis – claims that we’re told were later sustained by an internal investigation.

Interestingly, in his resignation letter, Hanis said he was leaving after accomplishing everything he wanted to in his 10-years as city architect – apparently without ever accepting responsibility for the actions that led to his departure.

In my view, the fact that such claims were accepted by Mr. Chisholm in a formal letter of resignation – a document that remains part of the public record – speaks volumes.

In addition, Wiles also filed harassment charges against then deputy city manager – and current City of DeBary interim city manager – Ron McLemore.

According to a December 2015 article by the Daytona Beach News-Journal, disturbingly entitled, “Disgruntled employees file harassment, discrimination complaints at Daytona City Hall,” reporter Eileen Zaffiro-Kean, wrote:

“McLemore resigned before an investigation got underway, according to city records.” 

 Like Hanis, McLemore was allowed to resign in February 2016, claiming that he planned to retire the following month anyway.

“Yawn.  Nothing to see here, folks.  Just taking up the old rocking chair a few weeks early, that’s all. . .”

After his self-described retirement, McLemore went to work for the City of Cocoa Beach – and later, the City of DeBary.

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as well for Ms. Wiles.

She was summarily terminated by Mr. Chisholm after she filed a third complaint of racial animus by a Daytona Beach city official.  An in-house human resources investigation found that Wiles “falsely and maliciously” accused the staff member leading to his resignation.

Later, an “independent” outside investigator – hired by the City of Daytona Beach – apparently marginalized Ms. Wiles and her previously sustained claims even further.

Ms. Wiles has filed suit, claiming that her termination was retaliation, and the City of Daytona Beach has denied any wrongdoing.

A judge will decide.

I am proud of Ms. Wiles for standing up for herself – and others who may be similarly situated.

Doing the right thing takes a lot of guts.

Which brings me to the matter at hand.

Last summer, during the shit-storm of political corruption and abject greed that overtook DeBary City Hall like a filthy fog – the terribly fractured city commission voted unanimously to hire Mr. McLemore as interim city manager.

As I recall, only the duly-elected Mayor, Clint Johnson, had reservations – but agreed to go-along in the interest of building “consensus.”

Well, I think Mayor Johnson would agree that strategy didn’t work out so well.

McLemore was hailed as a “clean-up man” who, unfortunately, turned out to be just another dimwitted ham-n-egger with malleable loyalties.

In the lead-up to his appointment, I thought the rather relaxed Q-&-A between McLemore and the commission, although sloppy in form, was rather cathartic for an elected body wracked by brutal dysfunction, criminal investigations, and the unholy collusions of disgraced former city manager Dan Parrott and others in positions of trust.

Then, things got muddy.

When asked directly by DeBary officials to explain the allegations of sexual harassment during his tenure with Daytona Beach, McLemore told the rubes on the city commission that he had been ‘exonerated’ by an investigation – then, in my view, re-offended by stating publicly, “I was very disappointed,” he said of the issue. “It hurt because I really tried to help this person…. That’s probably all I can say right now other than the fact that we went through the process, the allegations were looked at in detail by a third-party investigation.”

 More recently, McLemore stated publicly in the News-Journal that Ms. Wiles’ claims are “unconscionable lies” – crowing that he is “deeply saddened by the degree of erroneous and inaccurate claims in the allegations.”

I suspect Ms. Wiles might have something to say about that.

In my mind, the question remains, did Ron McLemore actively participate in Daytona Beach’s “investigation” of Ms. Wile’s complaints following his resignation?

Was he, in fact, personally ‘exonerated’ of the charges as he claims?

And what, if any, substantive background investigation was performed by the City of DeBary prior to McLemore’s employment to the community’s most powerful office?

After all, DeBary has more high-end lawyers on the payroll than most Fortune 500 companies – did at least one of them think to dig into candidate McLemore’s history and qualifications – you know, actually explore these rather serious formal allegations that came almost immediately before his “retirement” – or did they just accept his homespun answers at face value?

Good questions, huh?

In my view, the citizens of Daytona Beach – and the City of DeBary – deserve answers.

They also deserve better.

Normally, government plods along at the speed of an anesthetized ground sloth.

Even simple matters can take months, even years.

The very process itself is geared in an excruciatingly self-serving way, allowing adequate time for each layer of the bureaucracy to justify its existence.

For instance, the good people of Volusia County have been anxiously awaiting a compassionate solution to the problem of chronic homelessness for years – and despite some optimistic chatter – I can assure you that the ‘powers-that-be’ are nowhere near a resolution.

When a citizen takes matters into his or her own hands, skirts the myriad rules, or refuses to enter the meatgrinder of the permitting process – say, in the interest of completing a simple home improvement project in this lifetime – the sleeping bear awakes and the full might of government comes down like a bloody sledgehammer.

We, The People, have come to accept this administrative snail’s pace as the norm – and simply avoid interacting with our government whenever possible.

Dealing with officialdom, at any level, is like doing business with a massive, supernaturally obstinate, low-level clerk at the Department of Highway Safety and Motor Vehicles – Driver’s License Division.

You know, that mulish crone with the string wart on her eyelid that just keeps repeating in a low monotone, over-and-over-and-over, the reasons why you cannot renew, change address, replace a lost license, etc., etc. – all while offering no solutions, or even hope?

Ring a bell?

The one exception to this prehistoric crawl is when the right people stand to make a quick dollar.

In that case, I suggest you keep your hair, limbs and loose clothing away from the machinery, folks – don your protective suit before assisting others – because your government apparatus is about to spool up like a GE 90 jet turbofan and “make things happen.”

For instance, in less than a month, the City of Daytona Beach sold its long-term interest in the Ladies Professional Golf Association courses to their good friends at Consolidated Tomoka Land Company for the bargain price of $2.2 million – with some kickbacks to the City thrown in to make it seem like we’re getting a deal.

Within days, Consolidated Tomoka announced the sale of 1,581 acres west of I-95 to Canadian developer Minto Communities – who almost immediately revealed their “strategic partnership” with Jimmy Buffett’s own Margaritaville Holdings:

“Margaritaville and Minto noted that the location of their Latitude Margaritaville, Daytona Beach, at LPGA Blvd. and I-95, was ideal as a destination that offers access to the area’s world-famous beaches; championship golf at LPGA International Golf Club; Daytona International Speedway; Daytona Beach International Airport; the new One Daytona entertainment, dining and shopping destination; and much more.”

 Bing, Bang, Boom.

Did any elected or appointed official ask what you, as a taxpayer and concerned constituent, might think of paving over our environmentally sensitive recharge areas for a proposed 7,000-unit residential development with a commercial component west of I-95?

Did anyone attend those public hearings and informational meetings where the environmental and infrastructure impacts of the largest residential development in the history of Volusia County were discussed?

I didn’t think so. . .

Guess you were like me – too busy picking over pretty pictures of ISB roundabouts and “dog bones,” and gushing about the incredible “synergy” of the new Bass Pro Shop, huh?

In the meantime, the Big Boy’s took good care of us:

“Hey, you fucking rube’s, here’s what we’re doing – the decisions have been made for you and your money has changed hands.  Johnny Albright says it’s a “winning combination” and the News-Journal agrees.  So, guess what?  Nobody needs or wants your bullshit input.  Go shopping, you brain-dead yokels.  Can’t you see important people are doing business over here?”

Apparently, things are happening so fast at the epicenter of the western sprawl – I-95 and LPGA Boulevard – that everyone at Volusia County, and the Florida Department of Transportation, were caught with their proverbial thumb in their ass:  No one bothered to plan for public transportation service – and everyone is paralyzed by abject ignorance over whether injecting thousands of 55-and-over Parrothead’s onto already taxed surface and arterial roads, “might impact transportation through the northwest end of Daytona Beach.”   

 Hummm.  Wait!  Do you think this might result in congestion?  What to do?

I know!  Let’s hire an out-of-state consultant to determine our future local infrastructure needs!

Hell yeah!  Throw money at it, dammit!

Almost inconceivably, we recently learned that FDOT has selected California-based (you read that right) Parsons Group to conduct a phased study – projected to take well over a year – with an “estimated” $2.2-million-dollar price tag – which will be used to engineer an “ultimate” plan for the LPGA interchange.

A second phase will “address traffic spillback onto I-95, improve interchange operations, reduce congestion and increase safety at the study interchange through a 20-year design horizon.”

(“Design horizon.”  I love that shit.  How technical.  How typically governmental.)

$2.2 million.  We’re talking one interchange here.  Really?

According to Michael Johnson, Parsons Group President, “This project will be a win for residents and visitors alike.”

 Of course it’s a “Win,” Mike – we’re champions here on the Fun Coast!

Just ask our county manager, Little Jimmy Dinneen – or any of the high-paid shills from the half-dozen or so tax-funded ‘economic development’ or ‘advertising authorities’ here in Volusia County – we’re winning so often these days it’s hard to keep up with it all!

Now, I’m no Left Coast traffic expert (although I did try and get from West Hollywood to Long Beach via the 110 once, whoa) but I’m guessing – just spit balling – that with massive development looming like an ominous shelf cloud we might expect some additional pressure on our long-neglected transportation infrastructure.

How’s by you?

What do you think our local streets and roadways will look like when every proposed development from Brevard to Flagler finally builds out?

Ever feel like the collective needs of current residents are an afterthought?

Me too.

Fuck it.  As Marie Antoinette might have said,  Let them drink Margaritas!

Now, return to your lives – you winners – safe in the knowledge that those who control our destiny know what’s best for us.

And if they can’t figure it out – it’s nothing a couple million dollars of our money can’t sort through with a phased study to two.

I don’t know about you, Champ, but I need a drink. . .