Hi, kids!

It’s time once again to turn a jaundiced eye toward the newsmakers of the day – the winners and losers – who, in my cynical opinion, either contributed to our quality of life, or detracted from it, in some significant way.

Let’s look at who tried to screw us – and who tried to save us – during the week that was:

Asshole           Former BV Angel Steven R. Parker

It is my sad duty to report that a former Barker’s View “Angel” from October 2022, Steven R. Parker, has been laicized – had his wings clipped – after a disturbing story announcing that Parker was arrested this week on felony charges of defrauding an 85-year-old homeowner and her family.

Yeah.  I know.

According to a report by Mark Harper writing in The Daytona Beach News-Journal, Parker has been charged by the Port Orange Police Department after he allegedly “defrauded a Port Orange homeowner of more than $50,000 by taking a building construction job while presenting the contracting license of someone else − Steven D. Parker, of Cape Coral.”

Damn.

You may recall that Parker received numerous community accolades following Hurricane Ian when he was credited with helping residents of the heavily impacted Summer Trees subdivision, a 55+ community in Port Orange – helping elderly and disabled residents in removing flood damaged furniture, cabinets, floors, and fixtures – doing the heavy lifting for those unable to recover from the devastating effects of this disaster on their own. 

According to reports, Parker – who is also the moderator of the popular “What’s Happening in Port Orange” Facebook site – took to social media earlier this week to proclaim his innocence…

Regardless, in my view, Steven Parker is no “Hometown Hero.” 

The Port Orange Police Department is asking anyone who believes they may have been victimized by Parker to contact Det. James Fischetti at 386-506-5897 or email jfischetti@port-orange.org . 

Asshole           City of Ormond Beach and County of Volusia

It is said that trust is earned, respect is given, and loyalty is demonstrated – and a betrayal of any of these results in the loss of all three. 

In recent months, residents of Ormond Beach have learned the hard way just how disconnected and duplicitous our elected and appointed officials truly are – and how seemingly innocuous land use and zoning changes can have generational impacts on a community.

In August, The Daytona Beach News-Journal uncovered plans to construct a 20-million-gallon petroleum tank farm and rail terminal on Hull Road – in proximity to thousands of homes, the city’s airport, sports complex, light industry, and a children’s dance studio – which would see 24/7 heavy tanker traffic traversing established residential areas and pouring onto busy US-1 near the I-95 interchange.  

The news galvanized area residents, who mounted a well-organized effort to speak truth to power, demand answers, and hold their elected officials responsible for protecting public safety and their dwindling quality of life. 

Guess what?  You ain’t seen nothing yet…

At perhaps the worst time in this once idyllic community’s history – last week, we learned of plans to construct 2,500 homes at Ormond Crossings, another “city within a city” concept that has been lying in wait since it was conceptualized by big money investors and their “friends” in city and county government over 20-years ago. 

According to a disturbing article by Jarleene Almenas writing in the Ormond Beach Observer:

“On Wednesday, Sept. 27, representatives from Meritage Homes met with the Ormond Beach Site Plan Review Committee to discuss constructing 2,500 single-family homes on the property, which is located next to the Ormond Beach Municipal Airport along the east and west sides of I-95 and south of U.S. 1 within Volusia and Flagler counties.

In 2013, the City Commission approved an ordinance rezoning the property to a Planned Mixed-Use development.

The first development within Ormond Crossings was Security First Insurance, which opened its $38.2 million headquarters in 2019.            

According to the meeting’s minutes, if Meritage Homes moves forward with the development, the company anticipates it will phase the project from north to south.”

You read that right…

With thousands of new homes already blanketing the landscape, impacting our infrastructure, and encroaching on the environment – and the specter of thousands more looming at Avalon and beyond – the citizens of Ormond Beach are awakening to the realization that our elected officials, whose campaigns have been financed by real estate development interests, have sold us out, sacrificing what remains of our once quaint coastal community on the altar of greed. 

Now that Frankenstein’s monster has grown beyond their control – all our ‘powers that be’ can do is blame their predecessors for the appalling lack of “vision” that has brought us to this point – even as they rubber stamp more, more, more under the mantra “Out of our hands, rubes.  Property rights.”  

Now, it is a feeding frenzy. 

According to the glossy marketing material (that taxpayers of Ormond Beach paid for) as hosted on the city’s website:

“Ormond Crossings is a proposed innovative live/work planned community, featuring a state-of-the art business park, lifestyle town center, and a variety of residential neighborhoods.

Ormond Crossings is an over 2,700 acre development site divided by I-95, with an I-95/US-1 interchange approximately midway between its two main entrances from US-1. A Florida East Coast rail line will provide service to the Business Park, and the Ormond Beach Municipal Airport is located immediately to the south, separated only by a City sports complex.”

In my view, the project is based upon the prevailing “shove ten-pounds of shit in a five-pound bag” growth management strategy – and promises five-million square feet of industrial, manufacturing, distribution, and commercial office space – estimated to bring 11,000 “jobs” to north Ormond Beach and a massive increase in population that will compete for limited space on area roadways with tanker trucks that will ultimately exit onto US-1 at the proposed Hull Road fuel terminal… 

So much for all that urban planning bilge we hear so much about, eh? 

According to the Observer, even senior “planners” at Ormond Beach City Hall are wringing their hands over the coming gridlock on area roads:

“Though there are 743 acres of wetlands within the planned residential areas of the property, Meritage Homes said the development has been designed to reduce impacts. About 7.6 acres of wetlands are proposed to be impacted. The concept plan proposes 45 acres of parks.

The members of the SPRC were concerned about traffic, particularly about access points on Tymber Creek Road.

“The thought of 2,500 homes dumped into Tymber Creek Road, which is a two-lane road, is scary,” City Planning Civil Engineer David Allen said.

Meritage Homes said the property owners have spoken with the Florida Department of Transportation about plans to widen Tymber Creek to four lanes, as well as for connection to U.S. 1 and the addition of a traffic signal at that entrance.”

Considering that earlier this year the Ormond Beach City Commission allowed themselves to be strongarmed into approving a 270-unit apartment complex on Tymber Creek Road, the coming traffic nightmare is scary indeed…

Oh, and did I forget to mention that just last month we learned of a proposed 977-unit residential development with serious wetland impacts — to include apartments, single-family homes, and townhomes — to be built on a 222-acre property on north US-1? 

Look, I have lived in Ormond Beach for over 60-years – grew up here – and I have watched in horror as one of the most unique and livable communities on Florida’s East Coast succumbed to the forces of greed and mediocrity. 

Trust me.  With no comprehensive plan to improve transportation infrastructure, utilities, or preserve our heritage and environment – malignant abominations like Avalon and Ormond Crossings will represent the final nails in Ormond Beach’s coffin. 

How sad. 

My more cynical neighbors say we have no one to blame but ourselves – reelecting the same perennial politicians, half-bright hucksters devoid of civic vision (or scruples), who have proven repeatedly their only loyalty lies with those wealthy benefactors who own the paper on their political souls.

Perhaps they’re right.

But what should be painfully evident to everyone is the complete lack of prior planning by city and county officials who have created this nonsensical patchwork – one that would allow a bulk fuel farm immediately adjacent to a previously approved planned development, the abominable lack of transportation infrastructure, adequate public utilities, environmental protections, stormwater management, school capacity, and the host of other logical civic requirements and amenities needed to integrate thousands of new residents into an already overcrowded community.

Asshole           Volusia County District Schools

Not much makes sense over at Volusia County District Schools in DeLand – that house of smoke and mirrors where nothing is as it seems – and the narrative magically morphs depending upon the wants, whims, and motives of senior bureaucrats who thrive in the shadows. 

Last week in this space, I expressed my confusion over the premature reveal of a clearly well-thought plan to shutter Read-Pattillo Elementary, a school serving some 350 students in New Smyrna Beach, that (rumor suggests) is now $20 million in disrepair and in danger of being closed during the 2024/25 school year and its students spread to the wind.

Parents, teachers, and staff learned of the proposal when a “sad mishap” occurred ahead of a School Board meeting earlier this month when a staffer “mistakenly” uploaded a PowerPoint slide announcing “Closure of Read-Pattillo Elementary” which included a laundry list of acute safety concerns on the campus.

Inconceivably, Superintendent Carmen Balgobin shamelessly looked Read-Pattillo stakeholders (and confused School Board members) in the eye and explained that the closure had not even been discussed by her staff – asking us to believe that the detailed briefing slide had mysteriously appeared out of thin air.   

Bullshit.

And the hits just keep on comin,’ folks…

As you may remember, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, in February 2021, the Volusia County School Board officially closed Osceola Elementary – Ormond Beach’s only beachside school for over 65-years – in favor of combining students on the former Ortona Elementary campus three-miles south in Daytona Beach.

Disregarding the impassioned pleas of concerned residents and elected officials, a petition, and a generous $2 million pledge from the City of Ormond Beach to help with renovations to the Osceola campus – the School Board abruptly shut down further discussion in favor of spending $24 million to rebuild Ortona Elementary.

At that time, School Board members also ignored pointed reminders from Volusia County taxpayers that, during the half-cent sales tax referendum, we were promised funds would be appropriated for significant renovations to Osceola Elementary…

That was a damnable lie. 

Just one reason any talk of an additional sales tax to fund transportation infrastructure, or anything else, will always be dead on arrival with wary Volusia County voters.

Like most things coming from the Ivory Tower of Power in DeLand, the process leading to Osceola’s demise was convoluted, uncooperative, and heartbreaking for a community that felt cheated and ignored.   

At present, the former Osceola campus is being used to house students from Tomoka Elementary while that school is being rebuilt. 

Now, in a weird about-face, at their October 10 meeting, the Volusia County School Board announced it is considering resurrecting the decrepit Osceola campus as the new home for Riverview Learning Center – a specialized program for students experiencing behavioral and disciplinary issues with an “…emphasis on modifying behavior and social skills, students attend classes daily in a highly restrictive school environment” – that is currently housed in an even more dilapidated structure in Daytona Beach. 

Say what?

According to district administrators, the current Riverview campus (which dates to the 1920’s) now requires “in excess of $5 million” in renovations – which, in Volusia County, makes it “beyond reasonable repair.”

Apparently, that makes the former Osceola campus an attractive (perhaps only) option for the Riverview Learning Center.  As usual, the plan has resulted in more questions than answers – especially from former Osceola teachers and staff who were displaced during the Ortona consolidation.

During the meeting, Volusia United Educators President Elizabeth Albert spoke on behalf of teachers asking why, after all the scary stories used to justify the closing of Osceola Elementary, administrators are now considering reopening the campus? 

“I think they absolutely deserve one,” Albert said. “Are they in a beautiful facility? Sure they are, but they had a home that they loved and now they’ve been moved so they deserve an explanation and to be respected that much.”

In my view, deeper questions remain for Volusia County taxpayers – namely, with a budget now well in excess of $1 billion annually – why are these important public assets allowed to rot under the supervision of highly paid district administrators?

Why is preventative maintenance ignored or withheld? 

And who is held accountable when shocking photographs depicting decades of neglect are used as evidence for school closures?

More important, why does Superintendent Balgobin (who, in my view, has been over her head since her rushed return to Volusia County) place such little emphasis on planning for current and future needs in favor of crisis management – a shambolic atmosphere that creates stress and trepidation among parents, students, and staff who are routinely left to wonder what their future holds? 

Quote of the Week

“Ormond Beach has always celebrated its timeless charm, evoking thoughts of our close-knit community and the warmth of small-town life, paired with unparalleled amenities and events.  As we celebrate this past year, we are not just preserving that identity, but also embracing our potential as a beacon of novel ideas and transformative initiatives.”

–Ormond Beach Mayor Bill Partington, ignoring the obvious and spewing his unique brand of horseshit during the 2023 State of the City Address, Tuesday, October 10, 2023

“With idle tales this fills our empty ears;

The next reports what from the first he hears;

The rolling fictions grow in strength and size,

Each author adding to the former lies.

Here vain credulity, with new desires,

Leads us astray, and groundless joy inspires;

The dubious whispers, tumults fresh designed,

And chilling fears astound the anxious mind…”

–Ovid’s Metamorphosis

As you and I sat at a standstill on Granada Boulevard last week, waiting through interminable signal changes in bumper-to-bumper traffic – or witnessed another slash-and-burn scar on the environment and worried about the impact of the next subdivision or half-empty strip center on our dwindling quality of life – the “Who’s who” of the Halifax area gathered at Oceanside County Club to enjoy a $60 per plate luncheon for the 2023 Ormond Beach State of the City Address.

Appropriately, the “presenting sponsor” was a real estate company…

I also found it interesting that Mayor Bill Partington – who hasn’t had a “novel idea” since he accepted his first campaign contribution – used the occasion to paint a Rockwellian picture of a place that no longer exists, an Ormond Beach that he and his “colleagues” helped destroy in a greed-crazed pursuit of more, more, more…

According to the Ormond Chamber’s website, the midday soiree was limited to our social, civic, and elected elite – “The State of the City Luncheon brings together business leaders, community leaders, and elected officials.  Mayor Bill Partington will present the City’s perspective on this year’s successes, challenges, opportunities, and future outlook.”

I guess We, The Little People who pay the bills and are expected to keep our pieholes shut can eat cake? 

Whatever.

Clearly, Mayor Partington’s “perspective” is far different from that of my neighbors in Ormond Beach – especially those petrified by the prospect of a 20-million-gallon fuel terminal in their backyard – or Tomoka Oaks residents who are fighting valiantly as developers attempt to shoehorn hundreds of homes on the site of a former golf course, or those watching in horror as more old growth forests are churned into muck for another sticks-and-glue apartment complex, convenience store, or carwash.

My God.

In his 1710 essay “The Art of Political Lying,” writer and satirist Jonathan Swift – best known as the author of Gulliver’s Travels – equated the pernicious practice of craven politicians spewing self-serving falsehoods to the masses “…to the gaining of power and preserving it…”

Sound familiar?

After years of doing the bidding of his political benefactors in Ormond Beach, now Mayor Partington wants to take his bloviating bullshit to the Florida House of Representatives in 2024. 

Shameless. 

In an era when our elected and appointed officials are willing to lie blatantly – painting a false picture of a fading lifestyle that long-ago was sold to the highest bidder – it is best to believe only that which you see with your own eyes.

Then vote accordingly…   

And Another Thing!

Recently, a well-meaning (if slightly confused) BV reader expressed their puzzlement over how I can find fault with the machinations of politicians one week – then praise their civic contributions the next.

“Over the past couple of years that I’ve been reading your viewpoints, you have jumped back and forth with almost everyone in office in Volusia County. One month you support them and the next time, not so much.”

My clearly confounded critic admonished, “You are quick to call them angels when you agree with them and assholes when you don’t. Get off the fence, pick a side, stand behind it and just nut up when you don’t completely agree with every single issue or outcome.”

Huh?

“Nut up”?

“Pick a side”?

Did you mean, acquiesce, and remain silent even when I vehemently disagree with some stuffed shirt’s assholery?     

Nah.  Not my style.  

Besides, complaining about, well, everything, is kind of my schtick… 

I find going along for the sake of getting along to be the antithesis of free thought and open expression – counter to the brisk competition of ideas – and a big reason we find ourselves in political gridlock, ruled by malleable marionettes beholden to big money benefactors, partisan hardliners, and special interests.

In my experience, just like my skewed thoughts here in Angels & Assholes, no one’s opinions on the myriad issues we face are always right or always wrong.

What my befuddled reader may not know is that I have a friendly relationship with many of the elected and appointed policymakers I write about in these disjointed screeds, at least those who possess the self-confidence to accept criticism as a civic barometer then use it to their advantage, who understand my ravings for what they are – and what they are not.  

For instance, I consider Volusia County Councilman Danny Robins a friend – but I almost never agree with him politically.    

His thoughts on what constitutes ‘smart development’ – and the social, civic, and environmental consequences of the current “Do whatcha wanna” growth management strategies – are diametrically opposed to my own.

And I flog him like a borrowed mule in this space every chance I get…

But on Tuesday, I wholeheartedly agreed with Councilman Robins’ courageous efforts to strengthen protections for Volusia County children by expanding restrictions on where those predatory animals who prey on our most vulnerable can reside. 

In June, Mr. Robins encouraged discussion of increasing distance requirements for convicted sexual offenders and predators from 1,000’ to 1,500’ around places like schools, playgrounds, bus stops, childcare facilities, and other places kids congregate in unincorporated Volusia County.

At present, most area municipalities have expanded the residency restriction buffer to 2,500’.  

Alarmingly, there are some 120 convicted sexual predators – identified as repeat sexual offenders and/or those who used physical violence in the commission of their offenses – currently registered with the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office. 

That means they are living among us…

The proposed dwelling restrictions would protect an additional 1,895 homes in neighborhoods throughout unincorporated Volusia County.

In addition to the enhanced residency requirements, Councilman Robins’ “Safer Volusia” initiative would have adopted ordinances prohibiting adults from entering or remaining in a designated children’s play area unless supervising or accompanying children, set a registration fee to recoup administrative costs, and authorized the placement of security cameras and tag readers in parks and playgrounds to protect children and visitors.

To their great credit, Sheriff Michael Chitwood, State Attorney R. J. Larizza, and a host of chief law enforcement executives from across Volusia County endorsed Mr. Robins’ commonsense proposal.    

The same cannot be said for some Volusia County Council members, who actively advocated for these animalistic pieces of human excrement from the dais; quibbling definitions, fretting over absurd “what if’s,” and openly worrying about where these convicted sexual offenders will live.    

My God.    

During discussion, Councilman Don Dempsey – a 30-year defense attorney – argued that the additional 500’ buffer would effectively eliminate housing options for convicted sexual predators and offenders in West Volusia – forcing them into homelessness where they cannot be monitored by law enforcement (?) – even questioning the efficacy of deterrence, separating identified sexual offenders from their potential victims, and describing those that have been released and foisted on society as “gray areas” whose guilt may still be in doubt.  

Bullshit.

Frankly, in my view, Mr. Dempsey’s laissez-faire views on sexual offenders living among our children and grandchildren are morally reprehensible – and I hope anyone who supports his continued service or candidacy for public office is taking notice.  (That means you Paul Deering and the Old Guard over at the Volusia Republican Executive Committee…)

Don’t take my word for it, watch the lunacy for yourself here:  https://tinyurl.com/2ppzvj27  

Unfortunately, because of Dempsey’s bleeding-heart horseshit and handwringing, the ordinance modifying park rules to keep adults out of identified and properly noticed children’s play areas was voted down 6-1 citing what Chairman Jeff “The Gloves are Coming Off” Brower described as “unintended consequences.”

Before the vote, Chairman Brower said, “This should be a slam dunk … but I’m worried about the unintended consequences.”

When ending the interminable debate, Brower offered, “I’m done.”   

I assume he was referring to his political career… 

Who in their right mind passes on an opportunity to do the right thing for Volusia County children in favor of accommodating predatory criminals? 

To his credit, Councilman Robins strategically saw the handwriting on the wall and agreed to table the other provisions of the “Safer Volusia” act to a later date. 

As I understand it, county staff will now waste valuable time cobbling together language for a proposed ordinance extending the buffer – one that does not have a snowballs chance in hell of becoming law in Volusia County…

During my law enforcement career, I personally conducted or supervised hundreds of investigations into illicit sexual conduct in public parks and bathrooms – which included the arrest of multiple repeat offenders who engaged in vile acts in areas accessible to children, exposed themselves to park visitors, and engaged in lewd and lascivious predacious behavior – including a horrific case where a registered sex offender brutally victimized a juvenile in a public restroom.

I also have extensive experience investigating the sexual abuse and exploitation of children and vulnerable adults, and I know what these monsters among us are capable of. 

To this day, I would never visit a public park – or take my grandchildren to a publicly accessible playground.

In my view, to see how little our elected officials care about deterring identified threats to public safety – mewling over how best to protect the interests of 1,267 convicted sexual offenders and 120 predators while Volusia County residents are forced to live in fear – is reprehensible and beyond the pale of petty politics. 

As Councilman Robins, a former Daytona Beach police officer, said: “When is enough, enough?”

In my view, before this issue is formally voted on, perhaps certain namby-pamby council members should accompany the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office on their next operation to rid our area parks of these degenerates – get out of their cocoon of ignorance inside the Thomas C. Kelly Administrative Building – and experience for themselves how these sick bastards operate, day in and day out, in local parks and playgrounds. 

They won’t.  But they should.

Regardless, this latest théâtre de l’absurde should be a lesson to any lockstep conformist who believes it best to “…pick a side, stand behind it and just nut up when you don’t completely agree with every single issue or outcome.”

That’s all for me.  Have a great Biketoberfest 2023, y’all!